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Sunday, June 4, 2017

RoW...!

Image Courtesy: Times of India, Pune - Sunday, 04 June 2017

Here's another 'joke' that made rounds on Internet few years ago and, with its sarcastic tone, even managed to become popular for a while.


A while ago, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was…

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

In Africa most didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe most didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe most didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In India most didn’t know what “you” meant.

In China most didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East most didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America most didn't know what "please" meant.

And in the USA most didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant...!

In my last post you heard about the Post-tortoise, now here's the American version of it! I am not sure what Mr. President is up to but one thing is sure that he is proving to be an American to the core who truly believes that USA is an independent planet (attacked by the aliens in their wildest imaginations!) altogether and is not connected to the Rest of the world! The biggest relief is his mindless acts are being ridiculed at home (literally!) only and RoW can hope for a sensibility prevailing in the world's most powerful country again, soon. 

Amen...!

Thursday, June 1, 2017

My fault...!

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." 

The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 40 feet above this field. You are between 46 & 48 degrees N latitude and between 52 & 56 degrees W. longitude." 

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
 
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?" 

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost." 

The man below says, "You must be a Manager" 

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" 

"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow my fault...!"

This certainly is an old and widely circulated ‘Management Joke’ which I myself have shared many times in get-together as well as through mail and WhatsApp. The reason I am putting it on my blog here is that it would remain as a permanent ready reference to provide me some solace that neither I am the only person who has to go through this in this world nor there is any dearth of post-tortoise ‘Managers’ whenever I have an encounter with them!

By the way, according to an old farmer a post-tortoise is… “When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise. You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with…!” No pun intended and no offense, please!